Are Rough Patches in a Relationship Normal?

two women sitting on couch covering faces
Rather than asking are rough patches in a relationship normal, what you should be asking yourself is what's causing them and how to overcome those rough patches.

I remember at the beginning of our relationship, things were a little rough. I moved countries and was adjusting to a completely new way of life. With that came a lot of arguments and that brought up the question “are rough patches in a relationship normal?”

And that’s a good question. In general, all conflict shows that there’s an issue within the relationship that needs to be addressed. 

stressed man holding his head

If you and your partner are arguing all the time, there’s a reason why (and it’s not because you forgot to put the toilet seat down).

So, rather than asking are rough patches in a relationship normal, what you should be asking yourself is what’s causing them and how to overcome those rough patches.

Well, we’re going to talk about that right now.

Are Rough Patches in a Relationship Normal?​

Short answer: yes. Rough patches in a relationship are normal. 

We can’t always be on perfect terms with our partners – that would just be weird. As individuals, we have our thoughts and feelings – and they don’t always align with our significant other. But that’s okay. That’s what being in a relationship is all about.

But instead of wondering “are rough patches in a relationship normal, here’s how to work through a rough patch.

Own up

Your partner did get to this rough patch on their own. Oh no, they got here with your help. You two got to this place together.

If you two got into this place together, then it’s your job to get out of it together. 

This means you’ll need to put in the elbow grease as well to work on your issues and recognize your wrongdoing. If you play the victim, for example, own up to it. It’s not just about getting through this rough patch, it’s about growing and improving your relationship.

Look at the situation through a different perspective

Rough patches don’t necessarily mean you two are bad partners. Usually, they’re a sign that you two need to work on something. 

And I get it. Life happens and we don’t always have time to focus on our relationships (but that’s what got you here).

Look at this rough patch through a different lens. It’s a wake-up call for you and your partner to do something about your relationship.

Tell your partner what you need

Have you talked to your partner about your needs? And when I say talk, I mean talk. 

Your partner isn’t a mind reader. They don’t know your needs (even though you want them to). You need to tell them your needs (in a nice way, of course).

When you openly tell your partner your needs, you can then work together to fulfill them and that’s when change starts to happen in your relationship.

Remind yourself of the good in your relationship

While this is a rough patch, your relationship is also filled with tons of positive memories that you shouldn’t throw to the side. 

When we’re in hard times, it’s easy to get bogged down with negative thoughts and feelings. But, take time to reflect on the good things in your relationship. This will help you get yourself in a more positive mindset.

Final Thoughts

There’s a lot to learn in relationship writing. But while you can read hundreds of articles, what’s important is to take action.

Asking are rough patches in a relationship normal is the first step. Now, the second is to work through that rough patch with your partner.

If you’re struggling with overcoming a rough patch, consider talking to a relationship coach.


On Key

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