Sex? Sexual happiness? Who has time for sex anymore? Most of us are lucky if we can squeeze in a quickie. And while we may brush it off as no biggie, it is a biggie.
Getting caught up in life doesn’t take much. A busy day here, a busy day there, and poof! The weekend is here; you’re busy seeing friends and family, and then it’s back to the grind until your next day off.
Where’s the time for intimacy and connection with yourself? Your partner? Ah, now that’s a good question. For a healthy relationship, we need healthy and frequent sex. It is what it is. I didn’t decide to give us a vagina and penis – but we have them, and now you’re reading this article (smart move, by the way).
The more time we spend consumed with our busy lives, the more detached we are from ourselves and our partners. I get it, after a long day at work, the last thing you really want to do is have sex – you’re more likely to lay on the couch and veg out to a tv show.
But what you may not know is that your sexual happiness affects your overall mental and physical health. When you’re feeling sexually satisfied, you feel better.
So, if you’re in a sexual slump, it’s time to get you out of it. I have to warn you though, it is going to take some work on your part. Sexual happiness isn’t just given to you, you need to work for it (but it’s fun work).
#1 Un-busy yourself
Being busy is always portrayed as a positive thing. Oh, look at her, she’s so busy. She must be doing well. Is she doing well? Is she really? Being busy doesn’t equate to happiness. In fact, the less busy you are, the calmer and less stressed you are, so you’re actually in a better emotional state not being busy.
But let’s focus on sex for a minute. If you’re too busy to have regular sex with your partner (or yourself), something’s wrong. You’re not prioritizing sex. You must put your sexual needs first. Whether this means setting a time for you to masturbate or date nights with your partner, you need to feel sexual pleasure.
#2 Go beyond your physical health
Your physical, emotional, and mental states play a serious role in your sex life. And I don’t mean to sound like your mother but are you getting enough sleep? Eating well? Working out? Going out with your friends?
While your mom probably wasn’t asking these questions to make sure you have a good sex life. But she was asking these questions to make sure you’re putting yourself and your health first.
It looks like momma was right.
If you’re not feeling good, if you don’t sleep well at night or eat well, you’re not going to have a high-quality sex life. Your body and mind are connected to your sexual happiness and health. Take care of them, and they’ll take care of you.
#3 Put your phone away
Where do I even start? Do I have to start? Ugh. The phone. Put it away. Yes, you. Put your phone away and make some eye contact with your partner. You’ll be surprised what can happen when you look at your partner – they look back. And then you look at them, and then they touch you, you touch them – you get where I’m going with this.
Our entire day is spent focusing on what other people are doing, how other people spend their days, and what others are thinking. Are they going to help improve the intimacy in your relationship? No. So, put your phone away.
Keep it out of the bedroom or turn off your wifi connection – whatever it is you have to do to stop looking at it, do it. Your relationship is sacred. Don’t let a piece of plastic get in the way.