Being cheated on is rough. When it happens, you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to be happy ever again. How can you find happiness when you don’t trust anyone?
Now, this isn’t an article about why men cheat – we all know women cheat as well. I’ve been cheated on in different ways, not necessarily from a romantic relationship – whether it was a man or woman.
In my mid-twenties, I was dating this guy I felt I had a connection with. I went away for work for a couple of weeks and felt something was off in our phone calls. I knew what happened.
A couple of days later, he called me to tell me he slept with someone.
I remember going over what happened, wondering if I made a mistake by going on the work trip, debating if there was something I could have done. It wasn’t like our relationship was lacking intimacy, so why did he do it?
I decided not to get back with him and move on. It was hard. I wasn’t sure if I was going to meet someone I could trust, someone I wanted to be vulnerable with again.
But I did.
How to Heal and Find Happiness After Being Cheated On
If you’ve decided to move on from your partner, it’s time to allow yourself to heal and find happiness again. Here are some helpful tips to get started.
Understand it wasn’t your fault
Now, you’ve probably run the event through your head a million times, wondering if they cheated on you because the marriage lacks intimacy or you weren’t attentive enough.
It has nothing to do with you not being good enough or if the relationship lacks intimacy. Rather, this person cheated on you because they either didn’t communicate their needs sufficiently or lack a part of themselves they don’t know how to fill.
Their inability to express and communicate their needs or fill a void has nothing to do with you. They would have struggled with this whether it was you as their partner or someone else.
What do you define as cheating?
You may have had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right but convinced yourself otherwise.
It’s important you define what cheating is to you and stand by that definition.
By knowing your definition of cheating, you can enter a new relationship knowing what you’re looking for from your partner.
Focus on your future
Yes, you were cheated on, but that doesn’t mean your future is over.
If there’s one thing I emphasize in my relationship writing, your future is in your hands. All you need to do is focus on it.
While this may be hard, it’s important to start looking at your future and planning it without this person.
Spend time with people who support you
When someone cheats on you, it triggers a whole slew of insecurities to bubble to the surface.
However, the people who have your back and support you are the ones you should be spending time with.
They’re the people who know your strengths and understand how to help you heal and get back to the old you.
Meet new people
Even when your support system surrounds you, you can still feel lonely.
But getting out there and meeting new people (platonically or romantically) is a part of the healing process.
It’s important not to stunt yourself from moving on. Just because your partner cheated on you doesn’t mean everyone else will betray you.
It’s easy to build up walls after being betrayed; however, push yourself to meet new people and let them get to meet the real you.