7 Life Lessons I’ve Learned Through Relationship Writing

I’ve been a relationship, dating, and intimacy writer for years. And it’s safe to say, I’ve written a lot of articles. Through the process, I’ve grown and learned so many important pieces of advice for a healthy relationship.

But they didn’t really connect to me until I was in a serious relationship with my current partner—that’s when the advice and life lessons I read started to actually apply to my life.

7 Life Lessons I’ve Learned Through Relationship Writing

I wanted to share with you 7 life lessons I’ve learned through relationship writing to help you with your relationships.

Be in the relationship for the right reasons

It’s normal to feel lonely and think that finding someone to be with will cure those feelings. But that’s not the reason why you want to enter a relationship. If you go into a relationship with that frame of mind, you could potentially end up with someone you don’t have genuine feelings for. Focus on what you want, your needs, and meet someone who you can share your life with.

Space can be a good thing

I remember my first love—you couldn’t separate us. I wanted to be with him all the time. I was like cooked spaghetti on a wall. But that wasn’t love. It was my fear and insecurities of trusting my partner. I was so uncomfortable with myself; I wanted to control my partner.

Give your partner space to breathe in the relationship. Give yourself space to breathe in the relationship. If you’re finding you’re struggling to be independent, this is something you need to work on. A healthy relationship isn’t based on co-dependency; it’s based on acceptance and trust.

Have realistic expectations about love

When you’re young, you want your romance to look like a fairytale. Endless passion and that happily ever story that actually sets us up to fail.

Yes, at the beginning of your relationship, there’s passion and intensity, but this isn’t something that’s going to last. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. The longer you spend with someone, the more comfortable you become, and those gushy feelings subside.

Be realistic about your relationship expectations because love isn’t what they’ve shown you in fairytales. It’s complex, it’s deep, and it’s always changing.

It’s about the little things

In the movies, it’s all about these grand gestures and extravagant gifts. But you know that’s bullshit, right? If there’s one thing I’ve learned from relationship writing, it’s that people remember the small things in life.

If you’re having a rough day and your partner surprises you with a warm bath, that shows respect, consideration, and love when you need it most. As JLo once said, “my love don’t cost a thing.” Put away the wallet and focus on doing small things for your partner—it can be as little as giving them a hug.

Your relationship will change

You may love how your relationship is right now, but it’s going to change. And that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. As people, we’re constantly growing, and that means the relationship you once had will alter.

What’s important isn’t holding onto the relationship you had; instead, it’s about going with the flow and enjoying what your relationship has become. There are a lot of ups and downs in relationships, and you need to accept that—it’s life.

Talk openly and honestly

In life, honesty really is the best policy. Through my relationship writing and listening to people’s advice, a lot of people fear uncomfortable conversations. But how can you have a healthy and deep relationship with someone if you can’t talk to them about things that are bothering you?

If something is bothering you, say something to your partner. Not only will you form a deeper connection, but you’ll foster and maintain trust in the relationship.

Your relationship is only as healthy as you are

We all want to have healthy relationships, that’s why you’re reading this. However, through my relationship writing experience, I’ve learned that your relationship is only as healthy as you are. It’s your responsibility to work on yourself and make yourself fulfilled.

We often put a lot of responsibility on our partners to make us happy, but it’s up to you. By working on yourself and solving your issues, you’ll become a healthier person, reflecting on your relationship.

I hope you take these life lessons that I’ve learned through relationship writing, and use them to improve your relationships. Good luck!