The odds are, you’re probably reading this on your phone. Is that a bad thing? Of course, not. But during the day, you’ve probably checked your Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram accounts multiple times. You could say it’s become a crucial part of your day.
However, is social media ruining your relationship? For counselling relationship, many couples come in with this problem. But it’s important to know why social media has the power to destroy your relationship.
Social media itself isn’t designed to ruin your relationship. Ideally, it’s meant to help people connect and share their personal lives. However, through time, it’s morphed into something else.
Social media has become a space where people portray how they want you to see them rather than reality. After time, this false illusion can have drastic effects on your mental health and relationships.
While social media can give the illusion you’re more connected to the outside world, we forget that it can ruin the world you actually live in. You know, reality. Don’t believe me? It’s time to look at the ways social media is ruining relationships—and maybe even yours.
Back in the day, when you broke up with them, you usually never ended up seeing them again. Sure, maybe you would bump into them from time to time, but that’s about it. However, now you can watch their every move on social media, knowing who they’re hanging out with and what they’re doing every minute of the day.
While it’s nice to go down memory lane, it can also bring back temptation and unwanted emotions. The past is the past, but with social media, it becomes the present.
The lines are easily blurred when you’re on social media. People you don’t know can like and follow your posts or photos, write comments, and send you messages. It’s important to clearly define the boundaries with your partner so that you both know what’s appropriate and what’s not.
Yes, phubbing is a thing. It’s a word that explains the habit of ignoring (snubbing) someone who’s sitting right in front of you while you’re on your phone. You can see how that can cut into your alone time with your partner, right? While you’re taking a selfie or writing a post, your partner is sitting next to you, waiting to receive your time and attention.
When you expose yourself online, you’re allowing people to comment on your life, whether you like it or not. Social media essentially gives people the green light to say whatever they want without consequence. While you’re hungry for attention, people may not always be supportive of what you post online. And this can cause emotional distress when you have to defend yourself in a virtual room of strangers.
While you love your partner, you also love the attention you get online. But this false attention can quickly take over your life as you start to live only for validation from others. Instead of spending a couple of minutes on your phone, you’re spending hours scrolling through social media, posting stories and photos for likes.
You may be thinking this is a wee bit extreme, but it’s not. Think about it. Let’s say your partner is constantly on their phone, talking to people you don’t know. It’s easy to assume that they may be talking to someone they shouldn’t be. Slowly these thoughts develop mistrust and paranoia in your relationship as you start to wonder if they’re doing something fishy online.
On social media, millions of people are posting photos, displaying how they want to be seen. But that’s not reality. You may wonder why you didn’t get more likes on a specific photo or why someone is better looking than you. When you allow these thoughts to enter your mind, you stop living in the moment and start living for other people.
Relationship problems and solutions go hand-in-hand. Where there is an issue, there’s also a way to solve it. If you feel your relationship is being affected by social media, perhaps it’s time to limit the amount of time you’re on it or delete the social media apps that negatively impact you. If that’s not working, try counselling relationship sessions.
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