Oh, thank god. Pleeease give me some communication tips for long distance couples. If I had a penny for every time someone asked me that…well, I would have…okay, never mind.
No doubt I’ve been in my fair share of long-distance relationships. Okay, I’ve been in two, but that’s a lot! Most people will try one attempt at it and then either end up with that person or stick to their zip code. And I don’t blame them.
Long distance relationships are hard. I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. They’re hard and for a good reason. You’re in a relationship with someone you’re not physically with!
But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. My first long distance relationship with a nightmare. We did everything wrong. But my second long distance relationship was a success and there are some clear reasons why.
Luckily, for you, I’m going to share them with you. Here are some real communication tips for long distance couples.
Communication Tips for Long Distance Couples You Need to Know
So, how did I make it through my long distance relationship? Well, I did the following things to keep the communication and connection alive.
Communicate as much as you need
Some couples need to talk daily to feel connected, while others can talk every couple of days.
There’s no formula to this. You need to communicate as much as you both need to feel connected in the relationship.
Of course, if you’re chatting once every couple of weeks, then you should reflect on your relationship. Because you do need to communicate.
For me and my partner, we talked daily and that was what we needed.
Be there for the ups, but especially the downs
People love to be around for the good times, but when the bad times come around, they’re nowhere to be seen.
But as a partner, you’re there for the good and the bad.
In a long distance relationship, you can’t be physically there to support your partner when something happens. But you can be emotionally for them.
Make your call with them a priority, send them messages of support – show them you’re by their side even when you can’t be.
Go beyond your phone
Remind each other often what you love about your relationship
You know that long distance relationships are hard. And there are a lot of times where you’re struggling with the distance and not sure if you can handle it for much longer.
I totally get you. But this is when you need to remind each other what you love about your relationship.
Talk about the first day you met, mention the cute things you do for each other, and tell your partner how much you appreciate them.
The more often you remind each other of the positives in your relationship, you’ll be able to push through the hard times.
Don’t wait until you meet in person to address your issues
Every relationship has its problems, that’s just a part of it.
But, what many long distance couples tend to do is wait until they’re in person to talk about their issues. Not a good move.
For many couples, when they have an issue they don’t want to talk about it via Skype or Zoom. But when they get together, they don’t want to dampen the mood, so they push the problems to the side. And what happens? It explodes.
Should you talk about your issues in person? Yes! But should you also talk about them remotely? Yes. Do not wait to see each other.
Address the issues when they happen, whether it’s in person or remote. Learn to get comfortable talking about these issues regardless of where you are.
Acknowledge and understand why you’re apart
You’re not in a long distance relationship for fun. There’s a reason why you two are still apart.
Perhaps it’s because you’re still in school or you’re saving up money for the move – you both know the reason.
Acknowledge and understand why you two aren’t together right now. While I know you just want to drop everything and be together, there’s a real reason why you haven’t already.
Make a long term plan to close the gap
Being in a long distance relationship isn’t something you want to do forever. But the gap isn’t going to close on itself – that’s something you and your partner need to work on together.
Work together to create a realistic plan of when you two can close the gap. Creating a long term plan can help you both push through these challenging times. It gives you something to look forward to.
Like I said, long distance relationships are hard. But they’re not impossible and that’s the truth. I hope these communication tips for long distance couples can be useful for you and your relationship.
If you’re struggling with your long distance relationship, I recommend relationship counselling to help you and your partner stand the test of time (and distance).