It took some time, but you went through the emotional hurdles of getting over a breakup, and you feel like you’re ready to move on with a new partner. If you’ve started to see someone new, that’s great, but there are some crucial conversations you need to have with them to help you understand if the relationship is right for you.
These are conversations many of us avoid talking about because we don’t want to face the possible consequences after knowing our partner’s opinions and feelings. But if you want to create a strong foundation for your new relationship, here are eight conversations to have with your new partner.
Work and Finances
What does money mean to you? What does money mean to your partner? By understanding the value of money in your relationship, you’ll be able to resolve conflicts around money better. Because, whether you like it or not, you most likely will go through financially tough times, but it doesn’t have to end your relationship.
Many couples experience a lack of connection after having a child. And this drop continues with each child they bring into the world. This doesn’t mean you should avoid having children to keep your relationship at the status quo. Instead, this means you need to communicate with your partner about conflict resolution and how to maintain your sexual relationship.
Intimacy and Sex
The real difference between friendship and romantic relationships is intimacy. A deep and satisfying relationship is one where the couple can talk openly about the sex and intimacy they’re having in the relationship. It’s a hard topic to discuss, but it becomes easier with time once it’s opened.
It’s everyone’s dream to be in a relationship without any conflict, but what if I told you conflict can actually be good for the relationship. In every relationship, a conflict exists. We’re human; we’re all different. But having conflict in a relationship doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.
Conflict serves a powerful purpose, and when properly understood, it can help grow the relationship and create a deeper connection between partners. Not only do you learn about yourself, but through conflict, you learn to express your feelings and work through your differences.
Commitment has changed throughout the years, and people view commitment in different ways. This isn’t good or bad; what matters is you’re both on the same page when it comes to what commitment means for your relationship. If you choose to fully commit to your partner, it means you’re accepting them for who they are, flaws, and all.
As individuals, we will grow and change. This also means our relationships are subject to change with time. However, this isn’t a change that should be feared. Instead, focus on how you and your partner will work with the change. How will you support the growth of your partner and vice versa?
Fun and Play
Relationships are work, but they’re also a lot of fun. The conversations to have with your new partner shouldn’t only be serious ones. Healthy relationships consist of adventure and fun. This doesn’t mean you both view fun and adventure in the same ways.
If you both have different ways of having fun, that’s perfectly fine. What’s important is to learn how to respect each other’s ideas of fun and adventure.
We all have our own dreams and aspirations outside of our relationships. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to give up your dreams. Dr. Gottman’s research has shown that relationship conflict is rooted in unfulfilled dreams. Both you and your partner should support each other’s dreams, as when they’re supported, the relationship feels more rewarding.
These are eight conversations to have with your new partner, but of course, you don’t necessarily have to dive right into these conversations on the first date. However, with time, it’s important to get on the same page with your partner.