The No-Contact Rule: Your Post-Breakup Detox

Do you want to truly detox yourself from your ex? Are you really ready to move on? If so, then it’s time you took charge of your life with the no-contact rule.

I want to summarize this for you so you know exactly what the no-contact rule means. The no-contact rule essentially means you’re cutting off 100% contact with your ex. Maybe you’re trying to look for some loopholes, but there are none to this rule.

The no-contact rules means:

  • No phone calls
  • No “accidentally” bumping into ex
  • No text messages
  • No social media posts directed at your ex
  • No mutual friends messaging them on your behalf
  • No connection on any social media apps

Why do the no-contact rule?

When dealing with a break-up, you’re going to go through withdrawals. And like any addiction, it’s easy to fall back into things to prevent going through the withdrawals and emotions of a break-up. The no-contact rule helps you learn how to live without your ex and emotionally process the break-up without any distractions.

How long should you do the no-contact rule?

I recommend a minimum of 30 days. A 2007 study found that 71% of people who went through a recent break-up felt better after three months. Of course, if you can prolong the no-contact rule, and hold out for 60 to 90 days, that would be best. After the break-up, the next 30 days will be emotional and may not be enough time. However, I recommend your minimal goal to be 30 days.

What’s a limited no-contact rule?

There are some situations where we can’t completely shut our ex out of our life. Here are some reasons:

  • You share children together/are pregnant
  • You’re co-workers
  • You live together
  • You’re married

In these cases, you should keep the communication down to the essentials such as paying bills, childcare, or work. Any other small talk needs to be avoided during the no-contact period.

What do you do during the no-contact rule?

You live your life. I know it’ll seem hard at first, but it’s time to self-reflect and focus on what you want out of your life and how you’re going to achieve those goals. Spend time with your friends, family, and take up hobbies that interest you. Use this time to realize you can live a happy life without your ex.

What happens if you break it?

Nothing. You restart from day 1. It may take a couple of tries, but it’s important to do your best and refrain from contacting your ex.

What happens if your ex contacts you during the no-contact rule?

There’s a high chance your ex is going to try to contact you during the 30 days no-contact period. So, what do you do when your ex contacts you during the no-contact rule? Well, it really depends on the context of the situation. Ideally, you should give yourself 30 days to reflect on the situation, whether you choose to get back together with your partner or not. If your ex contacts you, tell them you need some space and will contact them when you’re ready.

Now what?

Maybe you’ve decided to get back together with your ex and if so, take this second chance seriously to look at your relationship and see the areas you two need to work on. But if you choose to move on from your ex, before you enter the dating world, read my next guide “StartingFresh: Post Break-up Guide.”


On Key

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