You think your friends would never hurt you. That your friends would always have your back no matter what. While many of us do have those friends, there are times when we encounter fake and toxic friends who don’t have the best intentions for us. Hell, I was a toxic friend. Yeah, that’s right, me.
I was selfish, jealous, and, honestly, just a bad friend. However, I would treat other toxic people around me with the love and kindness my other friends deserved. But why am I talking about this? While I focus mainly on relationship writing, friendships are also important relationships aside from romantic ones.
Your friendships matter. Who you surround yourself with matters. It reflects who you are as a person. For myself, I didn’t have the self-worth and awareness to understand that I wasn’t a good person.
I sought validation and an ego-boost wherever I went and used people at my expense. Of course, that said, I also had many toxic friends that I spent time with. Did I know they were bad for me? Of course. So why did I stick around?
In all my experience with relationship writing, it’s a question I get asked a lot. Why is it so hard to end a relationship that you know isn’t serving you? Why do we hold on to toxic friends? Well, there are a couple of reasons why.
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Accept that it’s okay to part ways: Not all friendships are meant to last and that’s okay. You’re growing, they’re growing and the friendship simply isn’t the same anymore.
Don’t wait around for an apology: If your friend is toxic, the odds are they’re not aware or aren’t going to admit their wrongdoing. While it would be amazing they came to you to express their feelings, that’s probably not going to happen. And that’s okay.
Get the support from your other friends: Remember your other friends? I know you do! Yes, you’re going through a break-up, but you also have a supportive group of friends and family by your side. If you’re struggling to move forward, consider relationship counselling to help you through this time.
Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your friendship: Your friendship is ending. You’re going to feel sad and upset – this is someone you shared your life with. Think of this as a break-up because that is what it is. Give yourself the space and time to grieve. Let out all your emotions so you can move on.
Through relationship writing and my own personal experiences, I’ve learned a lot about love and friendship. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you deserve a real friend, not a toxic one.
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So, if you’re reading this, there’s a chance that you’re not feeling good about your relationship. If you’re asking yourself, is my relationship toxic? It’s time to know the signs. Here are the signs of a toxic relationship.
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