Dating After a Breakup: 8 Things You Need To Do

dating after a break up

As someone who wants to work on themselves and process the breakup, you read The Break-Up Guide and took the time to process the breakup and think about what you want in your future. Whether it took months or years to process, you feel you’re now ready to move forward and start dating after a breakup. This is a great step for you!

But now, you’re thinking, “ok, what do I do now?” You were out of the dating scene for some time and forget how things work. In addition, you don’t want to make the same mistake twice and end up in a new relationship that feels a lot like your previous one. Here are 8 things you need to know when dating after a breakup.

Focusing on the future

You’re doing your part in working on yourself and giving time to process your past relationship, which is great. And now that you feel you’re ready to date, this is a sign you’re ready to be vulnerable again and meet new people.

Go in with a positive mindset

Breakups are never easy, and when thinking about dating, it can bring up some painful past memories. But that was the past, and now, you’re looking into the future. If you want to enjoy your dating experiences, stay positive. With a positive mindset, you’ll exhibit positive behavior and energy, which increases your chances of a better dating experience. 

Take things nice and slow

When you meet someone you connect with, you get excited, and you want to spend more time with them and move things forward. But meeting the right person isn’t a race. It’s important you give yourself time to get back into dating and take things slow. Get to know the person without trying to push the relationship forward. 

Don’t focus only on dating

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of finding someone new to be with, but dating shouldn’t be the only thing you spend your free time with. Whether your friends are setting you up with other singles or you’re on a dating app, don’t let it take over your life. Focus your time on other activities and hobbies in your life. While you’re living your life to the fullest, you’ll eventually meet someone in time. 

Reflect on what you want and don’t want in a partner

Since your last relationship has been some time, you can now look at it objectively and see what went wrong and what you liked/didn’t like. By reflecting on your past relationship, you can find a partner who’s a better fit for you. Make a list of positive and negative characteristics your ex-partner/relationship had to help remind yourself of what you want in your future. 

Don’t compare your dates to your ex

Oh, don’t do this! Comparing your dates to your ex isn’t going to do good for you. This is an unhealthy habit, and it’s one that’s very common. But if you’re comparing your dates to your ex, this is something you’ll need to break. If you want to move on truly, then you need to focus on the future and not bring your past into your dating life. 

Be reaslitic with your expectations

Of course, you should have a positive mindset when dating, but you shouldn’t go into a date with unrealistic expectations. This is when you run the risk of being disappointed, and you don’t need that. Don’t try to rush the experience in hopes of finding someone. It takes time to meet someone you connect with. 

Be yourself

This sounds a little cheesy, I know. But it’s extremely important to be your genuine and authentic self when dating new people. If you’re trying to be someone you think your date will like, it’s not going to work in the long-run. Always be yourself, and if it’s not a match, that’s ok. Pay attention to how you feel around this person and what your heart tells you. 

No one said dating after a breakup was going to be easy. But now that you know what you need to do before going on a date, it’s important you know the conversations you need to have with a date and some interesting questions to ask when getting to know someone new. 


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