Your relationship is over. Either you or your partner decided enough was enough, and it was time to call it quits. But you didn’t want your relationship to end. At least, now you see it was a mistake to break up. So how do you fix a relationship that ended over a lack of communication?
If I’ve learned anything from relationship writing, overcoming the lack of communication is going to start with you.
The Biggest Problem in Relationships
We suck at communicating.
It’s one of the biggest problems people experience in relationships. We like to talk, we talk a lot, but we don’t know how to talk effectively. And this is one issue that reoccurs in relationship counselling. Couples don’t know how to communicate their feelings and needs to one another.
However, though it’s a major problem in most relationships, you can overcome it. And I’m going to show you how.
How to Fix a Relationship that Ended Over Lack of Communication
Yes, your relationship ended, but people get back together all the time. Only this time, you don’t want to repeat old habits. So, before you decided to get back with your ex, spend some time working on your communication skills.
How do you communicate?
Before you contact your ex and try to get back with them, you need to do some serious self-reflection. How do you communicate? What are your triggers?
Before you approach them, you need to know the areas that need work on, both on your side and their side. A relationship is a two-way street, so it’s time to take some responsibility.
Address the past
You may be struggling to communicate with your partner because of unresolved issues that happened in your relationship. If you want to move forward, you’re going to need to address those issues. By addressing them, you’ll make amends and move forward.
If your partner isn’t communicating with you, identify why. Did you say something hurtful? Are you on different pages when it comes to defining communication?
This isn’t going to miraculously change overnight. Your communication issues are going to take time to work on.
Look at the way you communicate and see how you process your feelings. How do you handle touchy subjects? How do you express yourself when angry? Sad? Do you yell? Do you allow your partner to speak? Do you give the silent treatment? Do you listen?
By identifying how you engage in conversation, you can then start to change how you communicate and work with your partner to avoid triggers.
Communicate with a goal
When you’re communicating with your partner, the focus should be to achieve a compromise or resolution. So, if you’re bringing up a situation where you were hurt, focus on the end goal. This will help you avoid getting derailed or bring another issue into the conversation.
The purpose of communication is to move forward and connect with your partner.
Talk to a professional
Working through communication issues isn’t easy. Identifying them is a process within itself and knowing the right tools can be hard when you’re on your own.
If you’re focused on getting back together with your ex, I recommend talking to a professional. Relationship counselling will help you work on your communication issues and improve your relationships.
From my experience with relationship writing, working through communication issues take time and your partner needs to be willing to give the relationship a second chance. If so, it’s possible for you two to have a healthy relationship.