One Night Stand: Hell Yes or Hell No?

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Let's be honest, one night stands have been highlighted as something that's a must-do experience. But is it?

To have a one night stand or not, that is the question. Listen, first and foremost, it’s important you know that this post isn’t meant to judge you.

Who am I to tell you that having one is bad? I don’t think it is. One night stands can be extremely fulfilling and fun.

What it’s intended to do is help you make decisions that are the best for you. Let’s be honest, one night stands have been highlighted as something that’s a must-do experience. But is it?

Why do someone have a one night stand?

Good question! Whether you agree with having one night stands or not, it’s good to understand why people engage in them. 

Okay, there are tons of reasons why someone would have one, but some of the common reasons are:

  • to scratch their sexual itch. 
  • to validate their self-worth. 
  • in hopes of getting the person to want them. 
  • to avoid emotionally connecting with someone.
  • completely spontaneous (sometimes you just click with someone).
  • to escape. 
man and woman naked kissing in shower

So you know the reasons why someone would have a one night stand. When you reflect on yourself, where do you see yourself? 

Why are you having one night stands? Is it because you’ve clicked with a person, and you want to have an experience with them? Or is it because you want to feel validated? Feel worthy? 

These are questions you need to ask yourself. By self-reflecting, you can engage in sex that’s right for you, whether it’s a one night stand or not. 

8 Signs A One Night Stand Is For You

You’re curious about having a one night stand or want to have one with the right mindset? Here are the signs you’re ready for a rendezvous. 

  1. It’s legal (just had to say it).
  2. You don’t feel like you have to do it.
  3. You’re not doing it to make you feel better about yourself.
  4. You don’t have any expectations out of it.
  5. Having one aligns with your values and beliefs. 
  6. You’re not trying to build your self-worth or esteem by sleeping with other people. 
  7. There’s clear communication.
  8. It feels right for you.

8 Signs A One Night Stand Is Not For You

Whether you’re thinking about having one or you’re doing some self-reflection, here are the signs one night stands are not for you. 

  1. You’re having one to cover feelings of loneliness and distract you from your insecurities.
  2. You don’t feel good after having one.
  3. You’re seeking validation, love, or attention.
  4. You don’t want to be alone and seek a meaningful connection.
  5. You feel like you have to. 
  6. You know you’ll get emotionally attached.
  7. You’re trying to get the other person to like you. 
  8. You want to forget your ex. 

Listen, if there’s one thing you take away from this post, it’s that you should never feel like you have to engage in sex with someone. 

Sure, maybe your friends are into it, but if you’re not, that’s okay. Listen to your body and soul. 

I sound a little hippie, but it’s true. Sex is an exchange of energy; it’s something that requires you to share the most intimate parts of yourself.

That said, if you’re choosing to have sex with someone, make sure it feels right. This doesn’t mean they need to be “the one,” but it means to do it with positive intentions for yourself. 

Final Thoughts

The world of sex isn’t so simple. Some of us are holding out for the one, while other people have new experiences here and there. We’re all different.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in dating writing, as long as you’re being intimate for positive reasons (and not destructively), continue doing what makes you happy.


On Key

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