I think we can all agree that we’re busier than ever. Work, school, children, events, friends, family, relationships, holidays – it’s endless. With so much going on, most of us subconsciously deprioritize the things that matter most: ourselves and our partner. And what happens? We end up going through a dry spell in a relationship.
Our relationships are usually the first to pay the price. When we’re juggling so many things, the first thing to go is intimacy. Sex? Who has time for that?
In movies or TV, we’ll often see couples making jokes about the lack of sex they have – and that’s become the status quo. We’ve normalized the lack of intimacy as something that’s to be expected.
Now, I don’t know about you, but that’s messed up. That said, I also know after a hard day of work or a stressful afternoon with the kids, the last thing you’re thinking about is enjoying some intimate time with your partner. All you want is to jump into your pajamas and call it a day.
You’re tired. You want to rest.
So what’s the solution to bringing back intimacy into your relationship? Well, there are a couple of things you can do to create more time for yourself and your partner when going through a dry spell in a relationship.
How to Reboot Your Sex Life
You may think rebooting your sex life is about getting all the bells and whistles out, but it’s actually much simpler (and less exciting) than that. Here what to do when going through a dry spell in a relationship.
#1 Get a nightly routine going
I know this may sound a bit old, but it works. It’s important to create a routine for yourself and your family.
We thrive off of routine. If you have children, set a strict bedtime so that you and your partner have some time before bed to reconnect. If you’re lacking intimacy, make time for it.
#2 Make sure to have some me time
You remember you, right? It’s easy to forget about the most important person in your life: you. Without you, your partner and children (if you have them) won’t get the best of you.
Often, couples end up doing everything together, and the relationship becomes stale. Do things just for you. I don’t care what it is, whether it’s yoga or pottery; whatever it is that you enjoy, do it. When you and your partner have different hobbies, there’s something to talk about, something to share.
#3 Get those boundaries up
We tend to throw our intimacy to the side when we have a lot of things going on. For example, if you have kids, many parents feel they have to put their children first. But that’s simply not right.
How can you be a good parent if you’re not fulfilling your needs? How can you lead by example and show them what a healthy relationship looks like?
It’s important to set boundaries, whether it’s with your kids, parents, or roommates. Whoever you live with, create healthy boundaries. If you want to be intimate on Saturday night, put your children to bed early and tell them it’s date night.
#4 “No kids allowed” time
If you’re a parent, most of your time is spent working or parenting – and there’s no shame in that. You’re doing your best. But you also time for you and your partner without your children around.
Have one night where it’s just you and your partner. Whether you have children, parents living with you, or a roommate, make that night your night. The kids can go to a babysitter, your parent(s) can go catch a movie, or your roommate can go hang outside.
Also, as much as you can, spend a weekend alone with just the two of you. I know it can be hard, but you and your partner need to spend a weekend here and there doing nothing but connecting and having fun.
Every couple experiences going through a dry spell in a relationship, but what’s important is finding a way to reboot your sex life. Use these tips to improve your intimacy with your partner.