There’s no greater sting than when your ex deletes you from social media. Whether you were on good terms or not, the moment they decided to unfollow you, it was a blow to the ego. You’re going to unfollow me? Are you serious? I was supposed to be the first to unfollow. You’re not supposed to get over me!
When I was in my early twenties, my first serious relationship ended. I was heartbroken. I fueled my tears by creeping his social media while pretending to not over-analyze every single one of his posts. We decided to “stay friends.” Though deep down, I knew we couldn’t be friends. I tried to act mature and assume our past history wouldn’t affect the future, but it did.
Years passed, and we were still friends on social media. We would wish each other well during the holidays and that was about it. Eventually, I started dating another guy and posted a photo of us together on social media. A few days passed, and I realized my ex had deleted and blocked me from social media. Even though I moved on, when your ex deleted you from social media, it still stings. I didn’t understand why. We agreed to be friends, the time had passed, and we (at least I thought) had moved on.
His unfollowing from my social media brought up a lot of suppressed emotions and fears. I felt abandoned and judged. While I was reflecting on myself and what I did wrong to cause the unfollowing, this was really a reflection of what was emotionally going on inside him.
Just as much as you can’t handle looking at your ex’s photos, they can’t handle looking at your photos. Seeing daily posts of you doesn’t help your ex move on and vice versa. Your ex has come to a point where they feel they need to remove you from social media to move on genuinely. They’ve come to realize they’re lying to themselves, and this is what needs to be done for their own emotional and mental health. They want to move on from the past.
Some people cannot handle seeing their ex move on. So, they’ll try to manipulate them by doing or saying things in hopes of getting an emotional reaction. They want you to message them, asking them why you’re deleted on their social media. They want to see you angry; they want to see you upset over them. It’s the little power they have left to try to put you down by symbolically telling you that they’re over you or found someone better.
Listen, we all have egos. And I know secretly, no one really wants their ex to move on (at least not before you move on first). It’s this dark little secret we all have. But there’s always a chance your ex has met someone, and they really want to move on. They know looking at your posts on social media isn’t doing them any good, and they’ve decided to end the false relationship you two have on social media.
Deep down, you may want to text them and investigate why they deleted you, but don’t do it. Whatever you do, do not react to them unfollowing you. Don’t ask their friends why they unfollowed you, don’t post a cryptic message on social media about the unfollowing, don’t do anything. Yes, this hit your ego, but that doesn’t mean you need to let your ego control your response. Do not see this as a personal attack. This is really a reflection of their emotional process. Continue living your life, do your own thing, and with time, you’ll forget it even happened. You may not have control over the things that happen in your life, but you do have control over your response to them.
You’re finally free. Yes, I know. Right now, you don’t see your ex deleting you from social media as something positive. But this is your chance to move on from your ex and end that chapter in your life. You no longer need to see them. You no longer have to be reminded of the past. Now, you can truly move forward with your life.
If you’re still following them after they unfollowed you, now is your chance. I know creeping their everyday life brought you some satisfaction but did it really? Were you really happy seeing them every day on your phone? No, you weren’t. This is your chance to unfollow your ex and end this self-destructive relationship you have with them over social media.
Your ex moving on with their life shouldn’t be something you dwell over. If your ex deletes you from social media, it should be seen as a gift and a sign that you need to move on with your life as well.
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