Do all men chase what they want? Though we like to assume the answer is yes (it would make life a lot easier), that’s not the case for all men. Slumping men into a certain category certainly makes it easier for women to read men, but they forget that, just like every woman, every man is unique.
Now, there are situations where he may not seem interested, but in reality, he is. Through my relationship writing and personal experience, I’ve been on dates where the guy pulled back because he was nervous or unsure of how I felt. It happens.
Things got a little more complicated in today’s world now that we typically don’t have face-to-face encounters anymore. Usually, we start off by texting, and then if we feel a connection, we meet in person. However, it’s easy to become confused and unsure at that phase since you don’t see each other’s facial expressions and hear the tones of the voice. In other words, it could come across as him not being interested in you, even though he is.
Why does he stick around if he's not interested?
Now, there’s always a chance that the guy isn’t entirely into you but is willing to invest a minimum amount of time in the hopes of sleeping with you. I can’t ignore that chance, and you need to be aware of it—if you’re cool with that, great. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, then that may not be what you want.
However, some men simply don’t know how to show their feelings towards a woman they’re interested in. Or, they’re scared to get hurt again and create an emotional barrier to feel safe. I’m going to talk about the reasons why he doesn’t seem interested even though he may be.
He's not sure you're looking for the same thing as him
If you’re ready for a relationship and he’s not, he may distance himself. Does this mean he’s not interested in you? No. But it does mean that he’s unclear with either what you’re looking for or isn’t sure what he wants.
Healthy communication hasn't been established
You two are just starting to see each other, so the relationship is fresh. Usually, it takes some time for people to relax around each other and establish healthy communication. He may feel pressure to take action when he’s new in the relationship and cannot express himself fully.
It doesn’t mean he’s not interested in you, but he may be feeling overwhelmed. It could be a sense of fear, past baggage, or unconfirmed needs and desires on his end. You haven’t done anything wrong; he has his own internal conflict he needs to sort out.
He's used to starting slow
Most men take their time in the beginning of a new relationship. They move slowly, making sure they’re taking the right steps. While it may come off as disinterest, he may simply be cautious from past experiences or his own anxieties.
What do you do if he doesn't seem interested but actually is?
Well, you have a couple of options. You can pull out of the relationship and seek someone who is on the same page as you, or you can wait and see where it’ll go. Each situation is individual, and it really depends on his behavior and how you’re feeling.
Through my relationship writing experience, I recommend trying to have an open and honest conversation with him, seeing how he’s feeling and where his behavior is coming from. Once you understand, you can decide whether this is a relationship you’re interested in exploring.