Being in a complicated relationship means there’s a lack of clarity between partners. One partner may not be fully convinced of the relationship or not sure what they want.
At one point in my life, I was attracting men who didn’t know what they wanted because I didn’t know what I wanted in my life either. See how it works? We make things complicated when we’re unaware of our needs and desires. When we don’t know what we want, we test the waters and enter into relationships that aren’t for us.
What you need to know about complicated relationships is that they cannot sustain themselves in the long run. And you’re going to find out why right now.
Why being in a “complicated relationship” doesn’t work in real life
Intimacy in a relationship may be there, but a healthy relationship needs more than that. You also need an emotional bond with your partner, and in a complicated relationship, it’s hard to achieve that.
There are blurred lines about the relationship status
So…are you together or…not? Are you seeing other people? Or…? Yeah, do you see where I’m going with this? Complicated relationships are all about blurred lines where you don’t really know what’s going on—that’s why people stick around; they’re in constant suspense.
You’re there for the good, not the bad
Everyone wants to be there for the good times, but you don’t need to be there for the bad times when you’re in a complicated relationship. If your partner isn’t going to be there to support you and lend a hand when you need it, then what’s the point of being in a relationship?
The relationship becomes a game
When in a complicated relationship, it turns into a game where you’re trying to gain the upper hand in the situation. Rather than being perceived as equals, complicated relationships always have one person who feels “weaker.” While the tug-of-war relationship always gives you material to gossip with your friends, it’s emotionally and mentally harmful.
One person is more invested than the other
Coming from experience, someone always becomes more emotionally involved than the other person. That’s just the way it is. If you spend enough time with someone romantically, eventually, those feelings will develop. While you tell yourself not to get emotionally involved, you’re only human, and it’s bound to happen. And when it does, you’re going to get burned.
There are unclear expectations
Now, you shouldn’t have expectations for anyone, but let’s be honest, we all have expectations for the people we surround ourselves with. So, what are the expectations of this relationship? Do you spend the holidays together? Do you talk on the phone? Do you see other people? What’s going on? When the expectations are unclear, it creates the space for someone to get their feelings hurt.
People don’t know what you two are
Your friends, parents, hell, even your doctor is confused by your relationship. No one knows what you two are. Are you two exclusive? Are you seeing other people? What’s going on?
You doubt your selfworth
You want to be wanted by someone. We all want to be desired and needed by another person, preferably the person we’re romantically involved with. When you’re in a complicated relationship, the person isn’t fully in it.
After a while, it can affect your self-worth as you wonder why they’re not into you. You start to ask yourself questions like: is there something wrong with me? What did I do wrong? Why don’t they want me? And these questions all start to chip away at your self-esteem and self-worth.
Keep each other from seeking genuine relationships
You two are hanging on to each other, preventing one another from moving on and entering real relationships. Just the fact you two aren’t cutting the cord and ending the relationship is stopping you from meeting someone who actually wants to be with you. Sure, your partner may like you, but they’re not that into you (if they were, you wouldn’t be reading this).
You cannot express yourself honestly
Because you don’t really know where the relationship stands, you spend your time walking on eggshells, making sure not to upset the current flow. You prevent yourself from speaking openly and honestly because you’re scared.
But in a long-term and healthy relationship, honest communication is the foundation of the relationship. If you can’t communicate with each other, then you’re not in a relationship where you can exist freely.
Intimacy in a relationship is one thing, but the romantic bond you share with someone can only last if there’s open communication and honesty between you two. If you want to move forward in your complicated relationship and remove the “complicated” part, try relationship counselling. But in my opinion, it’s best to let go of the relationship and move on.