You may be thinking to yourself, so I can’t mention my relationship to anyone? Now, don’t go that far. When you keep your relationship private, it doesn’t mean you need to take it to the extreme and not share to your friends and family what’s going on in your love life.
Rather, keeping your relationship private is about understanding and accepting that your relationship isn’t a tool to impress and please other people. If I’ve learned anything from relationship writing is that your relationship is just that: your relationship.
When I was younger, I always wanted to make it known that I was with someone. That someone chose to be with me. If my friends didn’t like him, I would consider their opinion rather than listening to my gut. In other words, I was dating for others, not for myself. After relationship writing, I’ve learned a lot. Now, the opinions of your friends and family are important, but you also need to consider your own thoughts and feelings as well as they are the priority.
When you let others make decisions for you, you don’t choose a partner for you. Instead, you choose someone who your friends and family will like. That’s not love. That’s seeking validation and acceptance. While you may think it’s a smart move because you’re not stepping on anyone’s toes, you’re also not living authentically. What do you feel? Who do you want to be with?
For myself, I would post pictures on social media, parade my partner around – and all because I wanted people to like me because I chose the right person.
As you could have guessed, none of those relationships lasted. How could they? I wasn’t dating them because I really wanted to. I was dating them because they fit a specific standard that everyone around me would approve.
My partner now is someone I connected with, someone that I chose to be with. Now, I still post photos of us on social media (sometimes), but I don’t do it to gain validation from others. I’m not hiding my relationship, but I’m choosing what I want to share with others. Sure, I may talk about my relationships to my friends and complain about something annoying my partner does, but they don’t know the whole story. And they don’t need to know.
To be honest, the fewer people from the outside world know about your relationship, the better.
If you’re someone who’s had a very open and public relationship and is looking for a way to increase the intimacy and be more authentic as a couple, I recommend stepping back from sharing everything. Instead of trying to impress your friends, family, or social media following, spend that time investing in your love. Spend that time getting to know who your partner is and who you are next to them.
If I’ve learned anything from relationship writing is that there are relationship problems and solutions, but it takes time and effort on your part to create the best relationship with your partner.
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So, if you’re reading this, there’s a chance that you’re not feeling good about your relationship. If you’re asking yourself, is my relationship toxic? It’s time to know the signs. Here are the signs of a toxic relationship.
You’ve met someone that you’re sure is the one. Now, I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. I don’t even know you! But here’s the thing, are they really the one? Here’s how to know if you met the one.
Rather than asking are rough patches in a relationship normal, what you should be asking yourself is what’s causing them and how to overcome those rough patches.
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