A Natural Lover: Sex & Hormones

There's no doubt about it that sex is a major pleasure for both men and women. While we all receive pleasure, men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex. Who would have thought?

There’s no doubt about it that sex is a major pleasure for both men and women. While we all receive pleasure, men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex. Who would have thought?

But the science is in and it’s discovered that men and women experience sexual arousal physiologically and psychologically differently.

Men, whether straight or gay, respond automatically to attractive body parts, while women are context-dependent. Interesting, right?

With this scientific discovery, researchers can tap into how men and women experience sexual arousal and what really turns us on.

5 Shocking Ways Sex Is Different for Men and Women

To understand intimacy in a relationship and how to improve it, you need to know what makes men and women tick. So, it’s time to find out some shocking facts about how different men and women really are. 

Who thought the saying men are from Mars, women from Venus, would actually be true?

The female brain goes wild during an orgasm

While we may think orgasm is mainly for pleasure, it actually does much more to the female body than expected. 

Research discovered that when women orgasm, over 30 different areas of the brain activate. These areas are responsible for satisfaction, joy, touch, and emotion.

In addition to brain activation, oxytocin is released into the system, also known as the ‘love’ hormone. High levels of oxytocin go into the body, explaining why women feel trust and loved post-sex. 

Here’s the thing, after sex, men receive a dopamine release, the ‘pleasure hormone’, which explains their addiction to feeling pleasure again and again.

Men can fake orgasms too

And all this time, you thought women were the only ones who can fake an orgasm. Well, the news is out and men can also fake orgasms, they just don’t do it as much. 

I’m not going to go on a rant about faking orgasms (don’t do it). So, let’s get to the science.

A study from 2010 which looked at 180 males and 101 female college students, found that students who engaged in vaginal intercourse, 28 percent of men and 67 percent of women faked their orgasms.

A more recent study from Sexual and Relationship Therapy shows the most common reason men faked orgasms was to boost their partner’s ego. Women are more likely to fake orgasms to end bad sex.

Your anatomy at birth impacts your sexuality

Ph.D. and social psychologist at The Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life Justin Lehmiller, says, “whether you were born with a penis or a vulva will undoubtedly influence how sex feels to some extent.

In other words, your anatomy will determine how you reach orgasm. People born with vulvas are more likely to have multiple orgasms, compared to people born with penises.

Oral sex closes the orgasm gap

I just love reading this title! It’s no secret that around 70 percent of women rarely or never orgasm through vaginal intercourse, compared to the 74 percent of men who orgasm every time. 

But a study from 2009 that looked at 1,931 US adults shows that while 90 percent of men orgasm during sex, only 64 percent of women did – but that number jumps to 81 percent of women when oral sex is included.

Women can be turned on by sexual scene with people of all genders

Many studies have discovered that both straight and gay women respond similarly to female-female, female-male and male-male erotic films, regardless of their sexual preference.

A 2015 study from the University of Essex shows that straight women get turned on by videos of attractive straight women, while straight men and gay women are usually more aroused by the gender they’re attracted to.

It shows that gender isn’t a huge factor but the sensuality of the scene women are watching decides their arousal.

Final Thoughts

The amazing thing about relationship writing is that I learn so much about the human body and how men and women function together and apart.

Learning the science of relationships can help you understand your own sexuality and relationship, whether you’re in counselling relationship or not.

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