How to Be More Intimate in Your Relationship

clothed couple cuddling on top of bed

Here’s the thing; when it comes to intimacy, most people think it has to do with sex. You’ll hear people all the time say, “if you want to be more intimate with your partner, just have more sex.” Though sex is a part of intimacy, it’s only a small part. In this article, you’re going to learn how to be more intimate in your relationship.


You’ve probably seen this in other articles I write, and I cannot express how important communication is with your partner. If you want more intimacy in your relationship, it can’t only come from you.

A relationship is a two-way street, and your partner needs to understand how you’re feeling and what your needs are. Needless to say, you need to understand their needs and feelings as well. Learning how to be more intimate in your relationship starts when both partners let their guards down and embrace vulnerability. 

Get physical

No, this isn’t about sex. You need to remind yourself that intimacy isn’t only sex. You’re not constantly having sex with your partner, right? For a majority of the time you spend together, you’re cuddling on the couch, eating dinner, going for a walk. Though you may think these activities aren’t intimate, they are.

While spending time with your partner in a non-sexual way, practice intimacy. Hold each other’s hands when you go for a walk, caress your partner’s arm while cuddling on the couch, or while your partner is driving, give them a kiss.

Start a project together 

I know you’re probably thinking, “well, I always wanted to renovate the house,” but maybe you should take a step back. Projects don’t have to be big ones.

Your joint project could be painting a picture for the living room or building a bird feeder for the backyard. It’ll help you two go through small challenges while creating something with your own four hands. 

Get kissing

Remember the beginning of your relationship? You two couldn’t stop kissing each other; you were all over each other. Now, you don’t need to have your tongue rammed down your partner’s mouth (sorry for the visual) to be more intimate.

But a simple kiss in public can do wonders; even a make-out session on your couch works wonders. It’s about connection and kissing always connects people. 

Show appreciation 

It’s not uncommon that couples get a little lazy and take for granted their partners. We’re only human! But this is where you two need to step it up and show each other appreciation.

A 2015 study from the University of Georgia found that telling “thank you” to your partner often can strengthen the relationship. Being genuine and showing appreciation makes the other person feel needed and wanted. It’s so simple, yet so effective.

Practice active listening

Most of the time, we’re not really listening when people talk. We’re listening, but we’re usually thinking of what to say next or a funny situation that popped into our heads. But when you’re having a conversation with your partner, practice active listening.

Put your phone down, turn off any other distractions, and focus on what they’re saying without thinking of a reply. Don’t be afraid to ask questions like, “How did that make you feel?” This shows genuine care for your partner’s opinions, fears, dreams, etc.

Try something new together

It’s easy to fall into a routine. Most of us wake up early to go to work or school; we come home in the evening, eat dinner, get ready for bed, and begin the routine all over again the next day. It’s safe to say; things can get pretty stale when you live each day the same.

So, to become more intimate with your partner, try something new together. Take a dance class, go to a museum – you can even go skydiving. It doesn’t matter what the activity is, just as long it’s something you’re both interested in trying.

Get intimate with yourself

I’m not talking about masturbation even though masturbation can teach you a lot about pleasure, whether it be by yourself or with your partner. Rather, I’m talking about spiritual and emotional intimacy. If you want to be vulnerable and receive love from another person, you need to connect with yourself first.

Self-compassion and self-love are crucial whether you’re in a relationship or not. Learning how to take care of yourself and practice self-care will allow you to understand your needs and how to give back to your partner. 

Being intimate isn’t just about sex. Being intimate can be simple, it’s time to stop thinking so big. While we often confuse intimacy with sex, it’s important to realize intimacy goes beyond the bedroom and incorporates a variety of ways to show affection. I hope these tips will help you understand how to be more intimate in your relationship.


On Key

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