I remember my family and friends hinting that maybe I should find some local guy when I first started dating Nate. They would say, how to make a long distance relationship last?
And honestly, before meeting Nate, I tried to meet local guys. I went on date after date, and for some reason, I didn’t click with anyone.
You think I wanted to date someone who I’d have to fly to see? Of course not!
You can only go on so many dates before you’re just over it. And I was beyond over it. But then I met Nate, and there was just something about him – something that told me he was the right person for me.
Of course, there were strings attached. He lived overseas. And that’s how we started our long-distance relationship. Now, we’re on our fourth year together, living under the same roof. So, how did we make it work? Here’s how to make a long distance relationship last (from our perspective).
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, there are plenty of times where you wonder if it’s going to work, if you two will make it. I get it. But Nate and I are evidence that it can work. Here’s what we did so you can learn how to make a long distance relationship last.
Of course, in the beginning, we took things slow and felt the situation out. But within a month, we began to talk openly about what we wanted from this relationship.
Are we going to see each other? Should we try dating?
We were honest and open about what we were looking for and if the relationship had potential.
Every morning, Nate would send me a good morning voice note. Every morning. He never missed a day. And this became a part of our daily routine.
I would then send him a good morning “I just woke up” selfie and we would talk.
After coming home from work, he’d send me a voice message, and we’d talk on the phone before bed.
Having this routine developed trust between both of us and a sense of security.
We made sure that the goal was clear for both of us. We wanted to live together before the first year of our relationship ended. So, we worked towards that. We researched where we could live, how we could support ourselves, and the best option.
Of course, someone may have to make a bigger move than their partner. In this case, because I was a freelancer, I could easily move.
This is really the only way your long-distance relationship will work. You need to make it a priority. If it’s not, then perhaps you’re in the wrong relationship.
I could have gone to travel around South America or Asia, but instead, I invested my money in planes tickets to see Nate, and he did the same.
If you want your long-distance relationship to work, you need to see each other. Of course, if you have the money to travel to other places, do so. But if the relationship is a priority, make seeing your partner a priority.
To know how to make a long distance relationship last, you need to understand the importance of honesty. While we trusted each other, there were moments of insecurity.
I would still go out with my friends, and there were times where he would share his insecurities with me. It didn’t stop me from going out and having fun, but I would send him a message or a photo with my friends just to support him.
Support them when your partner feels insecure, rather than brushing it off or telling them to get over it.
You don’t need to stop living your life; find small ways to comfort them and let them know they’re on your mind.
You can talk all day and night with your partner, but it won’t do anything for your relationship. Because there’s a distance between you two, you have limited ways of getting to know each other.
That said, we used our conversations to talk about our values, dreams, opinions, and feelings. Nate developed a better understanding of who I am as a person and vice versa. When we would meet, it didn’t feel like we were strangers.
It’s not easy being in a long-distance relationship. You don’t really know what your partner is up to all day; you simply have to believe they’re telling you the truth. And that’s what’s important.
When we started dating, we both shared what we wanted and where we saw the relationship going. And from that moment on, we both put our trust in each other.
There was no confusion or mixed messages – what we wanted was clear to both of us. And we both knew we’d need to trust each other if we wanted our relationship to work.
Long-distance relationships aren’t a walk in the park, but they’re not the end of the world either. What’s important is you two are on the same page, put the relationship first, and focus on getting to know each other.
If you can do this, you’ll close the gap in no time. Hopefully, you learned how to make a long distance relationship last.
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