Oh, I know it’s just killing you that you don’t know what your ex is doing this very second. Maybe they’re talking to someone new or setting up their dating profile on Tinder. But listen, they’re moving on. They’ve learned how to stop obsessing over your ex.
But you’re still in it and it doesn’t look like getting out is easy for you. I don’t blame you. You should have seen me after my ex broke up with me. I was all over his social media.
The only thing I didn’t know was when he was taking a piss. And this is coming from a self-help writer. Nobody is perfect; we’re human.
But you know, deep down, that obsessing over your ex isn’t doing you any good. You’re not moving on with your life. Instead, you’re stuck in the past and holding onto something that isn’t there anymore.
But it’s time. And that’s why you’re here. In this article, I’m going to teach you how to stop obsessing over your ex.
How to Stop Obsessing Over Your Ex
If this was easy then I wouldn’t be writing about it. Listen, this change isn’t going to happen overnight and that’s okay.
Give yourself some time and kindness! You went through a traumatic situation, give yourself some love. But, I must say, you will move on. Just look at me!
That said, here are some ways to help yourself move on from your ex.
Reflect on your emotions (and let them out)
Your emotions are holding you back from moving on from your ex. You’re stuck on the idea of the relationship and how it made you feel.
So it’s time to reflect on your emotions. Why are they holding you back? How are you feeling? Have you released them?
Emotions play a crucial role in why you’re still obsessed with your ex and when you can understand your emotions and learn how to control them, you can start moving on.
Cut all contact
Yes, you read that right. Cut all contact. Delete them off of everything. YES, YES, YES!
Did I say that this was going to be easy? No, but it’s something you need to do. The no contact rule is hard but fulfilling.
If you don’t know the no-contact rule, read this.
But essentially, the no contact rule is when you REMOVE every form of contact with your ex. That means all social media, their phone number, everything.
And then, you give yourself three months (90 days) to cleanse yourself from your ex. During that time, you focus on building yourself up and creating a new life.
Write down why you broke up
Right now, you’re in this phase where you’re thinking of all the good things in your relationship. In other words, you’re blinded by positivity. But your relationship wasn’t all glamour. It came with arguments, flaws, and fights – all things that played a role in the breakup.
So, let’s get real and honest. Grab a piece of paper and write down all the reasons why you broke up. You may not be able to think of the reasons right away, but they’ll come to you with time.
Accept the relationship is over
Here’s the thing, as of now, the relationship is over. It’s not coming back. And that’s the way you need to see and accept it.
While they may have told you that they need time, blah blah blah, you need to see it as a breakup. That way, you can work on healing yourself and moving on.
It’s not an easy thing to do, I admit, but this will help you let go of the past and look toward your future.
Talk to a professional
If you’re struggling to learn how to stop obsessing over your ex, then maybe it’s time you sought professional help.
Going to a professional, whether it’s a counselor or a therapist, can help you understand where your feelings are coming from and give you tools to help you move on.
Learning how to stop obsessing over your ex isn’t going to happen in a day. Sure, you know what to do, but now you need to do it. And that may take time (also some slip ups).
But that’s okay, it’s really part of the process. If you need help with this process, contact me and we’ll work together on it.