Mixed Signal In A Relationship — Why They Happen & How To Deal With Them

Mixed signals. We've all experienced them, stayed up hours into the night trying to analyze and decode every word and action they say. But why do mixed signals in relationships happen in the first place?

Mixed signals in a relationship. We’ve all experienced them, stayed up hours into the night trying to analyze and decode every word and action they say. 

And while we treat mixed signals as complicated, they’re really quite simple. Shockingly simple. 

Mixed signals can happen in friendships, dating, romantic or work relationships — they happen anywhere, anytime. And each time they happen, we react in the same way, confused and stressed. 

Why do we react that way? Well, it’s partially because we know what mixed signals lead to, and it’s usually not in our favor (at least that’s what we think).

Mixed signals usually end up with:

  • getting ghosted
  • obsessing over the person
  • blaming ourselves for the end result
  • staying in the relationship even though it hurts us

What fun outcomes? Where do I sign up? No wonder we’re anxious and stressed when we sense mixed signals. 

But why do mixed signals in a relationship happen in the first place?

Why do mixed signals in a relationship happen?

I’m sure you’ve said at least one of these things when trying to decode mixed signals from someone.

“They’re hot one minute and cold the next.”

“They said they liked me a lot and then ghosted me.”

“They’ll text me and then not reply to my response for days.”

“They say they’re over their ex, but they still hang out all the time.”

And for most of us, when we see mixed signals, we don’t address them. We don’t want to push them away. And if we do address the mixed signals, there’s always an excuse that comes with it and usually an silence afterward. 

But why do they happen? To be honest, mixed signals come from a sincere lack of interest. Sure, they may enjoy the sex with you or the sense of being in a relationship, but they’re not actually interested in you.

They have an interest, whether it’s to get laid or feel some sort of intimacy with another person. But they’re not interested in anything more than that. 

They want the baby, not the labor.

They want everything that serves them without having to invest in you emotionally.

And we stick around because of our insecurities. Rejection, abandonment, loneliness — the list goes on. 

People stick in unhealthy situations because their insecurities tell them it’s more comfortable to be in this situation than to accept reality.

Mixed signals in a relationship aren’t mixed — they’re clear. They’re a sign of immaturity, emotional unavailability, insecurity, and a lack of growth. 

Inconsistency and confusion isn’t a mixed signal — it’s screaming to you that something is wrong. So take the mixed signals as a SIGNAL that this person is not for you.

Look in the mirror

I spent so many hours and days, decoding the thoughts and feelings of guys who just weren’t into me. They were trying to get their interests met, and I was their tool. 

Look at why you entertain the idea of being with someone who, quite honestly, doesn’t want to be with you. 

While it’s easy to point the finger at the person who’s giving you mixed signals, it’s time to look in the mirror. 

Sure, they’re the ones giving off the mixed signals, but you’re the one accepting it. 

Wasting time thinking about why they’re acting like this isn’t serving you and instead is deflecting from you being honest with yourself, and working on your issues.

This is a sign for you to look inwards and reflect on what’s holding you back from entering a healthy partnership. What insecurities do you have? What traumas are keeping you from growing?

If you want a healthy relationship and grow as a person, stop looking at the one who’s giving mixed signals and start looking at yourself. Because that’s where you’ll find the answers.

Final Thoughts

We all know dating is tough, but with relationship problems and solutions go hand-in-hand. This is why you need to do some self-reflection and understand who you are, your insecurities, and your needs. 

You will meet people who will try to use you, but if you believe in yourself and know what you want, you won’t let mixed signals distract you.


On Key

Related Posts

two white women on couch laughing

Is My Relationship Toxic? Signs of a Toxic Relationship

So, if you’re reading this, there’s a chance that you’re not feeling good about your relationship. If you’re asking yourself, is my relationship toxic? It’s time to know the signs. Here are the signs of a toxic relationship.

indian couple on mountain

How to Know if You Met the One

You’ve met someone that you’re sure is the one. Now, I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. I don’t even know you! But here’s the thing, are they really the one? Here’s how to know if you met the one.

Looking for real connection?

Get real relationship and dating advice straight to your email now.