I’ve been in two long-distance relationships; one of them worked, and one failed miserably. And when I mean it failed miserably, it went down like a flaming ball of horse poop. It gave me the perfect perspective for red flags in a long-distance relationship.
Did I see the signs? Of course, I saw the signs, it was lit up in neon. But, the stubborn me decided to overlook those signs a keep plowing through.
Our relationship was an abusive ticking timebomb. While it took me a while to heal from (thank you, therapy), it gave me a lot of perspectives – that’s why I’m writing this article. I ate the shit, so you can learn from my mistakes. Well, I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me, but this worked in your favor.
You may not see the red flags, or maybe you do, but you’re trying to tell yourself otherwise. And I’m here to clear things up for you.
Are long-distance relationships hard? Yes. But they shouldn’t be full of emotional turmoil and unhappiness. And if that’s what you’re feeling, I should start by saying that’s your biggest red flag right there. So what are the red flags in a long-distance relationship?
8 Long-Distance Relationship Red Flags to Spot in Your Relationship
Take a look at these red flags and reflect on your relationship. Do you see a couple of these?
#1 They don’t communicate with you
Communication is extremely important in a relationship, especially a long-distance one. But your partner doesn’t share their feelings or thoughts with you. Every conversation is very basic and shallow – how was your day? What did you do? There’s nothing going beyond that.
#2 They don’t want to make any future plans
You’ve brought up the subject of closing the gap and moving to their city or vice versa, and while in the beginning, they were excited about it, that’s all changed. They don’t talk about closing the gap and aren’t interested in any future plans. So why are you in a long-distance relationship then?
#3 You don’t know any of their family or friends
When you’re in their city, you don’t hang out with their friends or family. It’s just the two of you. Now, I can understand that to some extent, but if you’ve been dating for more than a couple of months, you should be meeting their friends and family. Instead, you’re being kept in the dark.
#4 The texts are getting shorter and shorter
If there’s one thing that you do a lot of in a long-distance relationship is texting. You can’t always FaceTime or Skype each other. But your partner’s texts are getting shorter and shorter. They don’t text you unless you make the first move, and when you do text them, you get a couple of words back.
#5 You don’t really know what they’re doing
When you stop and think about it, you don’t actually know what they do with their time. In a normal relationship, you two would share your day with each other, but they don’t talk about what they do with their time. Don’t you find this a little odd?
#6 You’re making all the plans
If you don’t book the flight tickets, arrange a date night, and organize the phone calls, they’re not moving an inch for you. You do it all. Sure, maybe you’re someone who likes to take charge but come on. What happens if you don’t call them? Do they pick up the phone? This is one of the red flags in a long-distance relationship.
#7 They’re not excited to hear from you
Maybe you just aced your exam or finally got the job of your dreams. Naturally, the first people who tell are the ones who love. And, of course, you expect them to be happy. But your partner doesn’t really seem to care. They’re not excited and celebratory over your success; rather, they’re flat.
#8 You’ve seemed to disappear from their social media
If you were all over their social media and suddenly you’re not, hmm, that sounds a little suspicious. If you comment on their posts, they don’t engage, and they seem to keep you low-key. Now, I’m not jumping to conclusions and saying they’re cheating on you, but it’s clear they don’t want your relationship to be public.
If you’re going to be investing your time into someone who’s living miles and miles away from you, you two better be on the same page. Long-distance relationships take a lot of time and energy to make it work, and if they’re not pulling their weight, then what are you two doing?
If you spot more than a couple of these red flags in a long-distance relationship, it’s time for you to have a serious conversation with your partner and see what they want. I know you may not want to hear the answer, but being in a one-sided relationship isn’t fair to you. You deserve more, and you know that.