You’re laying in bed next to the guy you’re dating, you start making out, taking off your clothes, and the next thing you know, you’re having sex. There’s no shame in that; we’ve all been there. And, let’s be honest, those are good times.
But usually, right before sex, there’s a conversation. It sounds a lot like this:
Her: “Do you have a condom?”
Him: “No, I don’t like wearing condoms. Don’t worry, I’ve been tested. I’ll make sure to pull out.”
Don’t worry; he’ll make sure to pull out! Everything will be fine, everyone. He’ll pull out!
And sure, some women will insist on the guy putting on a condom, but when you’re in the heat of the moment, you’re not too concerned about the consequences.
In one study from the University of Southampton, researchers found that the more attractive a man considered himself, the less likely he’s interested in using protection. Why? Attractive men may feel that they can influence their partner not to use a condom.
But the question is why don’t men want to wear a condom? And what does it mean when he doesn’t want to use condoms during sex?
While you may think it’s a compliment, that’s not the case. With the rise in STIs and stealthing, it’s time to talk about what’s happening behind it.
What women think it means when he doesn’t wear a condom
I’ve heard it a thousand times. Women cave into men’s demands of ditching the condom. And while in our minds, we know this isn’t the best move, we rationalize their actions.
Here are some of the lies we tell ourselves:
- He wants to improve his pleasure with me.
- He wants to impress me.
- He doesn’t want to wait to put on the condom.
- He finds me sexy.
- I’m on birth control.
- He doesn’t like the way condoms feel.
- He’s been tested.
All of these reasons are complete bullshit. He can wait a couple of seconds to put on a condom, and if he wants to impress you, he will put on a condom.
While we tell ourselves these lies to feel better, the truth is that by not wearing a condom, he shows a lack of respect towards his health and to your health. If anything, it’s a serious red flag.
What does it mean when he stops using condoms?
What does it mean when he stops using condoms? Well, it’s not what you think it is.
- Wants to get you pregnant.
- Doesn’t have a condom and is willing to take a risk.
- Or his horny.
In other words, he’s careless. And his carelessness has the potential to get you pregnant or sick with an STI.
He can tell you whatever he wants and give you all the compliments in the world, but he doesn’t respect himself or you at the end of it all.
Now, you may be wondering if it’s ever okay not to use a condom, and, of course, there are times when you don’t necessarily need to use them.
Every relationship is different. If you’re in an open relationship and sleeping with other people, wearing protection is a must. If you’re in an exclusive relationship, are using another form of birth control, and have talked to your partner about not wearing condoms – then you’ve taken the proper steps before making this decision. You’re both consenting adults that trust each other and understand the consequences.
However, if this is someone you’re casually sleeping with or a one-night stand, be smart and make sure you protect yourself.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What type of relationship are you in with this person? Open relationship? Monogamous?
- Are you planning on getting pregnant?
- Are you using another form of birth control?
- Have you talked to your partner about not using condoms?
- Is this person someone you trust?
No matter his looks or personality, STIs don’t discriminate. He could be the hottest guy you’ve ever met and still could have an STI. Horniness may cloud a man’s judgment, but you’re going to be the one dealing with the consequences.
What does it mean when he stops using condoms? You know the answers why. If your partner doesn’t want to wear a condom, and you’re uncomfortable with this decision, protect yourself by not consenting. Your health matters and if he doesn’t care about his health, you shouldn’t have to pay the price.