I’m sure we’ve all experienced this: after having sex, we get up, go to the bathroom, put on our clothes, and continue with our day. Maybe our partner stays in bed or does the same. But once the sex is over, everything ends. There’s no cuddle after sex.
Now, I get it; sometimes we’re busy and just wanted a quickie – that’s not a bad thing. Quickies are fun. But if this routine has become your sex life, it’s time to press on the brakes and do some reflection. Are you really getting the most out of your sex life? I’ll be the first to say; I don’t think you are.
One of the biggest mistakes we make during sex is not being intimate after sex. In other words, cuddle after sex.
Now I know there are some gray areas in relationships. What if you only have casual sex or hookups? The rules tend to say no when it comes to post-sex intimacy.
And I must admit, cuddling after sex with a friends-with-benefits can blur the lines a bit. But then again, if there are feelings involved, it’s not really a friends-with-benefits relationship, then, is it? Look how quickly things got messy!
But let’s get back to the post-sex cuddle because it’s an important and ignored part of sex.
A study from the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada and Trojan condoms found that women who cuddle for 6 to 10 minutes after sex rate their sexual experience higher (71%) than women who do not cuddle after sex (41%).
Believe it or not (but believe it), there’s a science behind cuddling. When we cuddle with someone, two chemical reactions occur in the body, improving mood and strengthening interpersonal relationships.
Oxytocin – the “happy” hormone – and dopamine – the “pleasure” hormone are released into the body, and the body’s cortisol – the stress hormone – levels drop. In return, you feel happier, calmer, and more relaxed.
Just spending a couple more minutes in bed or on the couch together after sex can improve your relationship significantly. It’s a small act yet holds so much influence over your relationship and personal well-being.
That sex afterglow doesn’t come from trying 25 positions or trying out a new toy, though it may be fun. Sex is only one part of the equation, the other is intimacy. It’s time to cuddle after sex.
I may have told you a bit about the science behind cuddling, but it’s time to take a deeper dive into the benefits of post-sex cuddling.
I think we could all do with a better night’s sleep. And if you cuddle after sex, expect the urge to nap. Cuddling releases oxytocin which not only reduces stress but improves our quality of sleep.
Remember when your mom would kiss your scrapes and bruises? It felt better, right? Well, there’s a reason why.
When the body releases oxytocin, it increases the pain threshold, helping with healing. In return, you don’t feel the pain as much.
We all want to live a long, and healthy life and if that’s your goal, you better start cuddling. A good dose of oxytocin can help lower blood pressure and heart rate. Cuddle after sex and you’ll have a healthy and happy heart.
We’re all stressed; it’s become a natural part of our daily lives. Most of us don’t know what it’s like to not be stressed – how crazy is that?
However, cuddling can help reduce stress levels in the body since oxytocin is released while cuddling, which decreases stress. One study found that oxytocin also helps to reduce symptoms of anxiety too!
Oh, I have to mention this. If this is what helps you cuddle more, then so be it. It’s a win-win for everyone.
Cuddling usually increases sexual activity as it releases positive feelings and emotions. Couples that cuddle are probably having more sex. Rule of thumb: cuddle after sex.
Does there really need to be a final thought? I think you know what I’m going to say. Cuddle after sex. Do it. You may not be into the first or second time, but trust me, give it some time, and you’ll start to feel the benefits.
If you’re struggling with expressing your needs to your partner, consider intimacy counselling as a solution to help you fulfill your sexual and intimate needs.
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