Intimacy and sex is a journey and one that lasts a lifetime. Many couples who enter intimacy counselling are sexually disconnected and, frankly, bored.
If you want to deeper your understanding of sex and intimacy, it’s time to learn some new techniques.
Edging and orgasm denial are ancient practices that can help heighten your orgasm and can be done solo or with a partner.
So, what are these techniques and how do you do them? In this guide, you’re going to learn everything you need to know about edging and orgasm denial.
Edging is an orgasm control technique where a person goes right to the point of having an orgasm, only to stop stimulation immediately and then to build it up again. The purpose of edging is to make sex last longer and to intensify the feeling of orgasm.
So, you almost reach an orgasm, stop and then do it all over again until you decide to orgasm.
There are many benefits to edging and orgasm denial. Here are a few:
A majority of women struggle to achieve orgasm regularly, which creates a lot of pressure on the woman, negatively affecting her ability to reach orgasm.
However, one study found that women who masturbate more often reach orgasm more often. With edging, it can help you learn more about your body and understand how to achieve pleasure.
Everyone wants an intense orgasm, but for many people, achieving orgasm is a struggle within itself. However, edging and orgasm control can lead to intense orgasms and extended pleasure.
OMGYes, a website focused on bringing awareness to the female orgasm, found that 66% of women who practice edging have longer and more intense orgasms.
One study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men last around 5.4 minutes during penetrative sex. However, another study found that women average 13 minutes and 25 seconds to reach orgasm – this is almost three times longer.
Edging can help partners sync and achieve simultaneous orgasm as it helps improve male stamina.
Edging helps the person gain awareness over their body, making them present during intimacy.
While it can build confidence, it can also improve physical intimacy in marriage and other relationships. Intimacy counselling may recommended couples to practice edging to overcome intimacy issues.
Yes! Let’s be honest, what’s a better way to try something if not on yourself.
Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or a marriage lacks intimacy, it’s important to spend time masturbating on your own.
Give yourself alone time and space to practice edging on your own, learning what makes your body tick. Try out different strokes, pressure, and motions – you can also use a sex toy!
Work your way up to an orgasm and when you’re just about to climax, stop. Take a couple of minutes to calm down, and then do it all over again.
So, you’ve tried edging, and now you want to bring it into the bedroom with your partner. But how do you talk to them about it?
Talking about sex with your partner can sometimes feel uncomfortable; however, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. For couples who are in intimacy counsellling and lack physical intimacy in marriage struggle with communication.
To talk about sex with your partner, remember the following: Timing, Tone, and Environment.
Pick the right time to talk to your partner – not when they’re super distracted or hungry – focus on your tone and pick an environment that’s relaxing and open for both of you.
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to edging. What’s important is it feels good for you. Experiment with edging, seeing what’s comfortable for you. In the beginning, do it between 2-5 times and see how you feel.
So what are some techniques you can try out solo or with your partner? Here are few:
The start-stop technique is the classic edging method and is ideal for all levels, whether you’re a beginner or more advanced.
For this, the start-stop method requires you to stop stimulation right before orgasm and then start again after a few seconds.
Edging is commonly practiced in tantric sex – where it’s all about connecting with your partner’s energy and body.
For tantric edging, breathe in slowly when you’re about to orgasm. While inhaling, imagine pulling the orgasmic energy from the vagina or penis up to your head. Then go back to stimulation and repeat the process over again.
Late tantric sex educator Psalm Isadora suggested practicing edging during tantric lingam or yoni massage. These two massages both involve physical and energy-based stimulation.
During the cooling down periods, take your hand and place it on the heart to ground your body. This will help you concentrate on something in between stimulation.
You can add this technique to the start-stop method. What happens is after you stop stimulation, you squeeze the head of the penis for around 30 seconds and then continue with stimulation.
It’ll take some practice to build up to 30 seconds, so give yourself some time.
It’s time to deepen the connection you have with yourself and your partner. Invest the time in practicing edging, don’t wait until you end up in intimacy counselling.
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